At the verge of admitting defeat?

At the very age of 6, I've been muttering aimlessly to my parents and brothers that I, SOPHIA TEH WEE CHENG will never stay put in Malaysia. I'm gonna fly one day. Having proclaiming it repeatedly, my parents were equivocal of this intention of mine. They were not so convinced. Since young, being the only girl among my siblings, I'm often regarded as the 'NOT SO' brilliant one. My brothers were able to tackle Year6 math sums with ease at the age of 10, while I'm on the other hand struggling with math sums of my respective year. I tend to shed tears furtively in the corner, feeling so abased and dejected. My brothers were sensible enough. I hear them speaking to my mum ‘bout it. It hurts. It did...at first. Gradually, I picked up. It was indeed an experience. Well, I shan't mention bout it. Anyway, studying in a school (CONVENT), that highly accentuates the significance of academic excellence, I grew 'smarter' in a way. At some point, I felt contented with myself. Having attained a rather reasonable level of intellect, I was pleased.

To cut the story short, I felt worthy of this scholarship. A dream come true alas.US here I come!! lalalalalala. . .I was on cloud 9 for days, till recently. It finally dawned on me, how I've esconced myself to this earthly blessing. .being too caught up with the pleasures of life .. only realizing recently that, 'hey, I'm still in Malaysia!' As long as I don't do remarkably well for my SATs, I will never step a foot in the states.

I felt wretched especially yesterday during the diagnostic test given by YU JIN. I wasn't able to comprehend those exercises. I wasn't even aware on how abstruse it is to digest the techniques of scoring well in CR. As I had expected to, I scored rather badly for those exercises. It wasn't me who wanted to compete with my friends, it was this deep longing in me who wanted to be acknowledged, even a little.

Deep within me, I blamed no one but myself. I realised that they were right; I will never be able to fly. I had once again let them down and very badly: I made a few resolutions. A distinct one highlighted : 'It is still not too late'.